O Sanam .. Tere pyaar ki kasam
6.47pm, Tuesday
As per my routine, the evening is the most vulnerable time of the day. All day’s work, workouts, deadlines, personal issues- all stack up by eventide. Soon, I unplug myself and gear up for a stroll. Music is the exclusive, constant companion in my walks of life. (pun intended)
From the terrace of my building, I gaze at the manifestations of humankind. The Mumbai Metro, the international airport, and the Western express highway surrounded by concrete skyscrapers. The moon is the showstopper of this evening. Its beauty, charm, radiance, and tempting luster calmed my soul.
While I relish the little joys, I discover myself grooving to a familiar 90s song. The hymn ends, and the lyrics begin like…
Hmm, shaam-sawere teri yaadein aati hain
And at the very moment, I am transported into a parallel universe- The world of YOU. For the first time, my heart didn’t skip a beat on your dream. During the day, I am so caught with living that it leaves no room for thought about YOU. The other times, I am merely fooling myself. Haha.
Hmm, shaam-sawere teri yaadein aati hain
Aake dil ko mere yun tadpaati hain
O Sanam, mohabbat ki kasam
The suffering Lucky Ali expresses befriended me the time you departed my life. I wonder if you even think of us, not me. Thought of you bears an ocean of sentiments. The disparity between pain and joy seems as hazy as the sky and oceans end at the horizon.
My mind tries to escape this feeling of emptiness. Thus commanding my fingers to skip the song. The braveheart soul subtlely denies. I brace myself to welcome the next…
Milke bichhad naa to dastoor ho gaya
Yadoon mein teri majboor ho gaya
O Sanam, teri yadoon ki kasam
Goodbyes are good no more. My day begins with your adoration and ends with your reminiscing. I granted you the gift to break my heart a hundred more times just so that it loved you twofold. My love for you is immortal. Your touch, your smell, the taste of cigarettes on your lips, your messy wardrobe, your midnight meal cravings, your comforting hug — are all a far-flung illusion.
Samjhe zamaana ke dil hai khilona
Jaana hai ab kya hai dil ka lagana
Nazron se ab naa humko girana
Mar bhi gaye to bhul na jaana
Love/ Pyaar/ Ishq / Mohabbat is the most abused and strong emotion on the face of this planet. Society, my friends, colleagues, and well-wishers have given up on me. But I ain’t on you. Misery is overrated, and love’s underrated. I will love you always and forever, no matter who my partner is.
Maybe the mistakes I have don’t deserve an apology. Maybe you are the lesson that God wanted to teach me. Maybe we weren’t good for each other. Maybe we weren’t meant to be together. Amongst these maybe’s, the thing I am sure of is our never-ending care and concern for each other.
On our first Valentine’s day, you gave me an assurance. That we will always have each other’s back irrespective of our relations. That 10 years down the line on crossing roads, we will hug, cherish the good times we spent, and thank ourselves for being a pillar of support. The bittersweet recent times make me question your promise, but I still hold in each word you’ve uttered.
Aankhon mein basi ho, par door ho kahin
Dil ke kareeb ho ye mujhko hai yakin
O Sanam, tere pyar ki kasam
1082.3 kilometers away lies my heart in you. I laugh with tears in my eyes. Oh yes, I did google the distance. But honestly, the separation has multiplied my love for you umpteen times. These one-sided conversations I have with myself are rare but sincere. I wonder if I can gather the courage to speak it out to you someday.
Your thoughts and memories have a cozy little corner in my heart. They have sought solace there, and I have made peace with it.
The song changes, the mood doesn’t. The lover changes, the love doesn’t.
I wipe my tears and increase my pace. My watch shows 10753 steps and 9.27pm. I breathe a sigh of relief for accomplishing my target of ten thousand steps a day. Hastily also run home to save me from mom’s tantrums for being late.
